As usual I enjoy your often contrarian perspective, but I think this is very much focused on immature people and more about that than gender. When I was younger I'd date and then realize I'd picked another crazy one. But that was more about me liking eccentric women who often turned out to be that way because of various abuse or fear of abandonment issues. Trust. But when you dissect that notion it has nothing to do with gender or toxicity- it has to do with conflating security with a cure for something that takes much more than a relationship to resolve.